Craft stores are generally reserved for browsing yarn aisles on quiet Sunday afternoons and overspending on seasonal holiday decor. But every so often, retail chaos infiltrates their quiet corners in the face of a shoplifter or a drunkard. Or maybe, both.
In a TikTok storytime, creator Madi Max (soft.cuddlebunny) looked back on her days working retail at Joann Fabrics. She specifically recounted an incident of an intoxicated shoplifter trying to play Romeo and criminal mastermind at the same time. The result? The local craft hub turned into an accidental slapstick comedy routine.
The hilarious routine started as an unhinged flirtation attempt. But it ended with dozens of stolen markers across the linoleum floor and the furious perp screaming from the back of a police cruiser.
According to Max, the incident kicked off when a man stumbled through the automatic sliding doors carrying an open, uncovered liquor bottle. He was allegedly actively taking swigs as he roamed the aisles. But rather than laying low, he allegedly zeroed in on Max's coworker.
The man was reportedly nursing an unprompted, aggressive crush and loudly peppering the coworker with wildly inappropriate remarks. At one point, he allegedly started pointing at rolls of material, declaring that she would look stunning in lingerie made out of the textiles.

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